“How did you find out about Bornholm?” has been the most common question we have been asked for the past week. The residents and seasonal residents and visitors of Bornholm enjoy keeping this secret paradise private and happy and I can’t say I blame them. Bornholm, a small island in the Baltic sea that is a 3.5 hour train and ferry ride away from Copenhagen is the perfect microcosm of Denmark: The north coast is characterized by a mostly rocky and picturesque coastline, with fishing villages and smokehouses dotting the shores; the middle of the island is mainly farmland, while the south is mostly sandy beaches. 
We decided not to rent a car and just settle into life in the small northern towns of Allinge-Sandvig. That was actually a fantastic decision. Instead of feeling the pressure to explore every corner of the island, we were happy to slow down and settle into our cozy Airbnb home. Our house is 50 meters from the sea. You have to navigate your way through the rocks in order to get to swimming, but in less than a day we had become experts and the kids were able to head out on their own, discover small ‘ponds’ and play. As you can imagine this small slice of the coast is extremely private, secluded and undisturbed.
We spent much of our time at home in our yard, which has fruit bearing trees: an apple tree, which is also very good for climbing and a cherry tree with fruit perfectly in season and easily accessible as a snack or an instant dessert buffet. Most of our meals were home cooked by V. They were delicious, nutritious and embodied many of the island’s fresh ingredients: Mostly vegetables that we would pick up at the local honor system farm stand along with some local delicacies like smoked fish from the smokehouse and fresh rye bread from the local bakery. The meals were amazing and kept getting better and better:
Honor system farm stand??? Yes, unmanned stands with fresh produce neatly packed, a price list and cash box (there is also a mobile pay option). You pick up what you need and pay.
I am not sure if this would work everywhere else in the world, I am sure that there are many places where the stands would be emptied out and the cash box stolen, but I would not get too cynical and think that this could only work in Denmark. I do believe in honor and humanity and have seen similar stands in Upstate New York. Even in midtown Manhattan, when the local fruit stand guy would leave his stand to use the bathroom, nap, or pray, there would be a collection of dollars from the passersby tourists, or regulars that picked up some bananas or grapes. But this unmanned sales system is very prevalent on the island of Bornholm (and throughout Denmark I’m told): You see small stands with the Danish version of a yard or garden sale: from flowers and plants to books, antiques, etc. with a price list, a small cash box and mobile pay number. Microeconomics with honor at work.
Next to the little honor farm stand in Sandvig is a little coffee / ice cream shop: Kalas-Kalas .This quickly became our go-to daily walking excursion destination. We became friendly with the owners who moved out to Bornholm full time from Copenhagen and opened Kalas-Kalas four years ago. The shop’s coffee and ice cream is of the highest quality, the decor and aesthetic very Danish minimalist, in the evenings they also serve drinks and the views are like nowhere else…
Down the path from Kalas-Kalas is Sandvig beach. A sandy beach, which is rare in the north. A few meters away is a large camping area making this beach a popular destination in the Summer months.
Besides swimming and eating there was also hiking. One such hike is the path to Hammershus, Scandinavia’s oldest castle ruins. We all enjoyed the journey and the kids enjoyed having a first hand lesson in history at the Leger World School:
Our one big excursion from our corner of Bornholm was to lunch at
Kadeau, a local Michelin Star rated restaurant located on the southern tip of the island. This was a truly amazing place: the food was fresh, original and creative, the staff attentive and oh so friendly, the location, on the beach, but surrounded by gardens from which the staff draws parts of its menu. Both V and I wrote more about it on our Instagram sites. It was well worth the trip which essentially took us through the entire circumference of the island.
Our stay in Bornholm, following our stay in Copenhagen really gave us a good feel for the Danish culture and people. A few things are worth mentioning: First, the Danes seem to be genuinely content with their lives, themselves, their families and don’t really seem concerned with the grass on their neighbor’s lawn being greener, or picking fights. We encountered a nice example on our last day at Bornholm. A food truck pulled up and parked right next to Kalas-Kalas (which does also serve food). In New York and almost anywhere in the world this would cause a big conflict. Here the owners of Kalas-Kalas enjoyed a different lunch from their temporary neighbor. Second, the Danes are very non-showy. This is very much the opposite of what we are used to having grown up in New York and Philadelphia with Russian and Israeli culture roots and Italian friends and having started the #legerworldtour in Southern Europe where inequality is not just a fact of life, but something that is emphasized and shown off by the people (see the Madrid post). The Danes dress well, but show no labels; drive good, high quality cars, but don’t try to flaunt anything or cut anyone off; enjoy good high quality food and service, but don’t worry about being in the “IT” place where their friends and acquaintances could not get a table. They’re just happy, practical and communal. Very impressive and heartwarming. Third, and this is a quality of the culture which we have decided to adapt no matter where we end up living, they show trust in themselves, their follow humans and most importantly their kids. Thus, within this environment they see no issue with their kids being as independent as possible. They trust their kids to do the right thing and not to veer off further then they feel comfortable. This allows the kids to believe in themselves and to navigate and grow up in the world by experiencing it without a helicopter parent sweeping in at every corner. It allows kids to develop self confidence, but also to form friendships and interests on their own terms without the need for parents to manage the playdates or activities. Our kids picked up on this very quickly in Copenhagen and continued to gain self confidence in the safety and beauty of Bornholm. They would go to the beach, by themselves. They would go play in the park, by themselves. They would take alternate hiking routes, by themselves. Then they started offering to do things for our family community and challenged us to trust them. To trust them to stay by themselves, babysit their baby sister and more. Seeing this is extremely heartwarming. In many ways in only a couple of weeks these kids have grown and matured more than they would in months living in New York City, but being sheltered every day. And so, on our last night in Bornholm we took full advantage of our kids’ newly found independence and had our first date night in over 40 days:
HYGGE!!!